MDC: To begin, please tell me a bit about who you are
BCZ: I am a descendent of the Patawomack Tribe. I can trace my father’s lineage back to before the first invaders to North America to the Powhatan (Chief), of now Virginia, and the tribes of the area that were documented by the invaders. There are over 500 federally recognized tribes in the U.S. and many more that are not federally recognized, each with their own language, culture, and traditions.
My father served in the U.S. military for thirty years. His colleagues would call him “Red” or “Chief.” He served ten years in the Marines and he was sent to Saigon, China at eighteen to the front lines. He was at Pearl Harbor when it was bombed, oversaw much of the communication work on the Pacific Coast, including the Nike sites and communications towers on Mt. Tam.
My mother lived through WWII in Germany. She was born in 1921 in a small town in West Germany. Hitler was formally in power in 1933 when she was twelve. The War began in 1939 and ended in 1945. She lived through the horrors of that war. My father met my mother when he was stationed in Germany during World War II. After the war, he returned to the United States and then went back to Germany, married my mother, and they settled in the U.S. I was born at Letterman Army Hospital in the Presidio in San Francisco where my father was stationed at that time. I come from, and grew up with, parents that lived a great deal of their lives in war and war zones.
Understanding who I am in the world is an exploration that is important to me. My father’s lineage has called to me for a long time, so to understand my history has been eye-opening. Living in both my father’s world and my mother’s world meant that I had to learn how to code-switch. Growing up, depending on where I was, I’d censor a part of who I was. For example, in grade school the kids would play cowboys and Indians and the Indians always got killed, so I got the message it was not cool to be the Indian.
Throughout my childhood, my father told stories that I wish I had paid more attention to. When he was gone, I realized there were some things lost, and other things I would not be able to know unless I reached out to members of our tribe. I was on a journey to understand who he was and what his life was like. I discovered there was a lot of history and politics that I did not understand and had to learn. I could not simply walk into Indian Country and say, “Hey, I’m Indian!” I had to learn about the different cultural traditions and ways of being in order to connect more fully to my heritage. I have been fortunate to meet a lot of amazing elders along the way that have guided me. One elder from the Salish Flathead Reservation, Gen Huitt, gave me the name Yoyoot Simmu’em, which means Strong Woman.
MRC: Tell me about the connections you make between genealogy, epigenetics, and healing
BCZ: Genealogy and epigenetics are fascinating to me and can help us understand a lot about ourselves. The nature versus nurture debate is curious and I find there are behaviors that show up in my life that seem more connected to an ancestor’s life experience. For example, once when I was walking through Union Square in San Francisco the emergency sirens sounded. I had an extreme visceral negative physical reaction that I believe is connected to the fear my mother experienced. I believe that until we heal the traumas of our ancestors, we carry them, repeat them and pass them on to the next generation. So for me, healing ancestral trauma is really important.
I have ancestors on my father’s side that have endured the traumas of how Native people have been treated in this country. That has not been my direct experience. As a bi-cultural person that is white-passing, I have had the privilege to bypass much of that trauma. Yet, it has been passed down and I have physical reactions and triggers that make me think that I re-experience the trauma my ancestors have experienced.
I am part of an all-women intertribal and intergenerational drum group, the White Buffalo Woman Council. When I drum and engage in other Native spiritual practices, I do this for the healing of our Mother Earth, for the healing of the People, for healing of the Ancestors. I do this for the future generations, born and unborn. I believe that my father’s, mother’s, and grandparent’s traumas that were not healed, were passed on to me. I pass any unhealed trauma onto my children, and they to their children. Healing is important work.
Growing up I always felt that things were not right, but I had no understanding of our world. I was a kid. Now, I know the history and realities of how our systems and structures were formed and who benefits and who doesn’t, and some of the horrors of humankind. I am also in awe of the amazing strong women who do the hard heart work that make things right for future generations. So, I am called to serve and to do healing work. I feel it is my responsibility as an elder.
MRC: You share that you are an elder. Say more about how you hold that responsibility
BCZ: Most of my ancestors have passed — all of my family’s elders: aunties, uncles, parents, and grandparents have passed on. Two of my siblings and I are now the elders. In my family, I am the holder of the family history and I keep the family connected. My responsibility as an elder is to offer care and compassion to my family and community.
In Indigenous cultures, elders are respected and honored. Elders are first to eat, then the children, and so on. When I was at Standing Rock in 2016, I was in a community room at Sitting Bull College on the Reservation. I was sitting talking to the person next to me. It was time to eat and I noticed the room got quiet and the person next to me said, “you know they are waiting for you.” I had to stop and process that and take in the incredible responsibility that comes with being considered an elder. This was a profound moment. At Standing Rock the life expectancy is 52 years, in Marin County, it is 88 years. That reality and my new status as elder was a lot to process. It is deep and it has changed me.
MRC: You are working to raise awareness about Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls (#MMIWG). Please tell me about this.
BCZ: The history of violence against Native women dates back to the history of invaders to this continent. Traditionally in Native communities, women were always respected as givers of life. Women have power. When colonizers wanted to exploit the earth, they created a false narrative that women were evil and had evil powers to discredit women and take their power. This was used to open the doors to the destruction of the earth.
Today, four out of five Native women are affected by violence and Native women face murder rates that are ten times that of non-native women. When I look at who goes missing and who gets raped, I connect the power we have as women as threatening to many men.
We are hearing more about Missing, Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls (#MMIWG) here in North America, AND it is a global issue. For example, in the Philippines women are being trained to protect themselves against the increasing violence against them. In Mexico the femicide near the border and in border towns is increasing. I connect what is happening to Indigenous women and women of color, here and across the globe, to the culture of the patriarchy and the threat our power is to men.
Corporations are putting oil pipelines through and around reservation lands where workers are housed in “man camps.” Men are recruited from across the country and with their presence, there is an increase in rape and homicide in these areas. This is one factor increasing the violence against Native women. A sister will go out to the store and never come back. There still is no accountability for the increasing number of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls (#MMIWG). Even though there is information, authorities are not taking action or holding those responsible accountable.
Violence against women and girls may happen on native land but if the perpetrator is non-native, tribal governments do not have jurisdiction over them. There would need to be a coordinated response between local, state, federal, and tribal jurisdictions, but there is a long history of mistrust that tribal communities have against governmental law enforcement.
MRC: What is the Red Dress Project?
BCZ: The Red Dress project provides a visual focus on the issue of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls (#MMIWG). The art installation of red dresses has been installed across Canada and the United States as a reminder of the staggering number of women and girls that are missing or have been murdered. The art is meant to draw attention to the gendered and racialized nature of violent crimes against Indigenous women.
The RED-painted hand on the face represents the silencing of Indigenous women and girls. A red handprint across the mouth has become a symbolic representation of the violence that affects Indigenous women and girls across the Americas. There is deep respect and meaning to the symbol.
Another connection to this culture of violence has to do with the sacred Bear and the connection to women. The Bear is a powerful being on the earth. The ability for man to hunt and kill a bear as a sport and not feel remorse is the similar space from which a man can kill a woman. It is not a coincidence that there is an increase in the killing of Bears, other Beings, and women. The disconnect from our Mother Earth that was created to exploit her, is the basis of this disregard for life. I read that several of the men that sieged the Capital on January 6, 2021, to “hunt” lawmakers, appear also to have a trend of violence against women.
We have a lot of work to do, but I am optimistic that we women are reclaiming our power and will make things right on Earth again. I believe we will still experience more chaos, as so many are still asleep, and others are holding on to a false pretense of power, but there are natural laws far greater than the ones we humans have created. I believe the heart of women and the power of love will override the negative in the end.
MRC: What can readers do to gain more knowledge and/or take action?
BCZ: To learn more and to find out what you can do to get engaged and support organizations
(calls to action, education, movement building, educating yourself, sharing data and articles, engaging in training) visit The Coalition to Stop violence against Native Women
A few good books to read are An Indigenous People’s History of the United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz and Columbus and other Cannibals by Jack Forbes
The Art of Letting Go: JANUARY 2021 Blog Post
My son was accepted into college in December 2020 and will be moving to the East Coast in the fall. With all the excitement that entails, I feel scared. For the past two days, I’ve participated in a workshop with Rockwood Leadership Institute called The Art of Navigating Change. Participants were asked to bring a “wicked problem” to the session. Having given some thought to what to choose, I kept coming back to the same one: my fear, maybe better described as terror, at letting my oldest son go out into the world alone. There are many dimensions to my fear, which I won’t get into here, but the crux of it is that I don’t trust the world. I do trust mother earth, but not necessarily her inhabitants.
As I gave more thought to this, I realized that it’s a mindset largely influenced by how one experiences the world. My primary concern for safety is based on my gender. I, for example, don’t feel safe walking alone, at night, anywhere, ever. I do not experience the world as a safe place.
When discussing my “wicked problem” the people in my small group reminded me that I must also take in the joy he’s about to encounter: the opportunity to come into himself in a new way, to make lasting friendships, to explore relationships, and to experience the East Coast. I tried to take in their wise council. I want to turn off that part of my brain that knows too much. How can I entrust my baby to the world when I don’t trust it? My son has had a good life – I want to protect that for him, and I can’t.
I remember the day in 1980 when my mother said goodbye to me at the airport as she returned to New Jersey, leaving me in Berkeley, California. I can picture the tears in her eyes. I had no patience for them. I was ready to begin my new life and I’ve been on the West Coast ever since. I’ve always thought of myself as footloose and fancy-free when it comes to relationships of all kinds. Now I’m all tears.
As a parent, I have to let go and understand that the “wicked problem” might simply be not having my worries define his experience and giving him the freedom to learn about the world with all the good and bad that entails. I have to let him find his own joy and his own sorrow and that, right about now, feels wicked hard.
Photo by Nick Fewings www.unsplash.com
2020 Year-End Reflection
Well, 2020 is coming to an end. As I look back on this year, it’s filled with strategies for coping. I consider myself lucky to be healthy and have the luxury of working from home. And within my small world here I, like many, have had bouts of anxiety, mild depression, boredom, sadness, and fear. I’ve tried various things to help calm my mind and my soul: walking, exercising, assembling puzzles, meditating, listening to podcasts, watching the Queen’s Gambit, signing up for Zoom events, donating to causes, creating a storytelling YouTube channel for kids, and writing a blog. Of all these things, one instance stands out that I want to share.
Several weeks ago, as my mind was in a flurry of agitation and I wasn’t able to quiet it down, I decided to listen to a guided loving-kindness meditation (metta meditation) that my sister had sent me. I laid down on my rug and followed the steps of sending love, wellbeing, and peace to myself, then to someone I love, then to someone I’m neutral about, and finally to someone for whom it’s hard for me to send good wishes, ending with sending wishes of wellbeing to all in our universe. When I got to the part about someone neutral, I chose my mailman. This human who touches my life daily, but whom I never thank or think about. I brought his face to mind, I sent him love, wellbeing, and peace. It felt a bit odd, yet I followed the instructive prompts.
At the end of my experience, my mind did feel calmer, my soul had settled. I was grateful for the teaching. I continued on about my day.
A few days later as I was on my daily walk, I passed the mailman. I looked in his direction. For the first time ever, he smiled and waved at me. I was struck by the change in his demeanor. I smiled. I waved back. I was jittery with what I experienced as magic.
Now we wave each time we see one another.
When I shared this story with my friend, a practicing Buddhist, she explained that the purpose of the mediation was to open my heart, implying that his sudden 180-degree change of demeanor was not the point. I was grateful for her wisdom while also holding onto my belief that by opening my heart I created the invisible conditions for him to receive my good wishes and respond in kind.
I’m ending the year by enjoying the simple possibility that I tapped into another plane by doing that guided mediation. That’s where I want to live more and learn from in 2021.
From my heart to yours, Happy New Year!
Strange Times
It’s been nine months of laying low inside the house and things are starting to get weird. I figure it’s time for me to come clean about what’s really going on. Just a few snippets should do the trick:
- The layer of dust on the furniture in our home is so thick that my son used his finger to write a Happy Birthday message to my husband, a message that we’ve all been passing by and reading for several weeks now with no apparent inclination by anyone to wipe it off.
- The other day I walked into the room where my son was attending on-line school. I looked at his computer screen and saw nothing. Curious, I asked what was going on. “We’re in breakout rooms alone,” my son explained. “Why?” “The teacher said it would help us concentrate.” Never, ever, did I think anyone would stoop so low as to call that education.
- One of my sons has started meowing. We don’t have a cat, so he’s not imitating anything. He’s simply found a new way of expressing himself during Covid. It’s more unnerving than you might imagine. He uses it as a greeting, an affirmation, and a rejection. I’m not really sure where to go with this one or what to do. Intervene? How? Why? It seems to go perfectly with the state of affairs around here, so I’m accepting it as part of the “new normal” that everyone I talk to references, ad nauseam.
- The other day I asked my youngest son what good shows there were on Netflix. His response, “Queens Gambit, but you and papa won’t like it because it’s really good.”
If you’re up for sharing your strange times anecdotes…leave a comment! Happy Thanksgiving!
Photo by Rafal Werczynski www.unsplash.com
Gemstones: An Interview with Gen Z Advocate Haleema Bharoocha
This is my seventh Gemstones piece, a blog post featuring people who lead with an open heart and work to uplift others. I’m honored to have the chance to introduce you to the work of Haleema Bharoocha
Tell me a little bit about who you are?
There are a lot of aspects of how I define myself: strong, weightlifter, advocate, community leader. There were times growing up when I felt that I would only be seen as a Muslim woman because of the hijab I wear, but now that’s not at the forefront of my mind.
How do you define your work?
I go back and forth between activist, organizer, and advocate. Most accurate is activist and advocate. For example, working with BART is an example of advocating within the system to create change. I have a background in Sociology and that influences how I see the world. I am part of Gen Z (the top of it, as I just turned 22 this year). My undergraduate degree is in Sociology (Seattle University) which gave me the language to name the experiences I saw growing up — like gender-based violence and Islamophobia.
Tell me about Gen Z…
It’s a generation that’s had to grow up faster and, from the get-go, has access to technology so it’s a generation that is very politically and socially engaged, like working to make voting accessible to younger people and working to prevent gun violence. For example, we recently had a candidate town hall in Oakland where young people interviewed candidates and give their endorsements. There is a lot of engagement by Gen Z. Some well-known Gen Z leaders are Naomi Wadler, Isra Hirsi, Mari Copeny.
Tell me what is most important to you?
My community and creating spaces where we have access to safety –safety from gender-based violence.
I do this through my work at Alliance for Girls and in that capacity have been part of an Advisory Board where we are tasked with taking 50% of the police budget and coming up with a plan of what we’d do with the money to create safety. We’re examining what safety means for girls and how can we get it without police involvement. We’ve also been asking girls to define what safety means for them?
We’ve heard themes related to:
- Feeling a sense of belonging
- Having representation from people who look like them and share similar backgrounds
- Affirmative consent
I’m also working with BART to create safety during travel from gender-based violence and I have been working with community artists and members to discuss these very challenging issues that have been around for a long time, yet effective solutions have still not been found.
Now with the elections the issue of safety is also present on a national level with stores boarding up and people talking about coups happening. There is also the lack of safety with children being separated from their families under the current administration and even with Biden elected, the white supremacists may respond in ways that threaten our safety, so there are many ways the issue shows up for my community and in the work that is most important to me.
Deep political divisions exist in the U.S. What do you see as the way forward?
Looking specifically at the South Asian community and non-black people of color we talk about the issue as it’s just black and white and that has given us (South Asians and non-black people of color) a pass. But there is a way that we are complicit in upholding white supremacy and I’ve been doing work on this through South Asians for Black lives to have us look at how we have been complicit and the ways we can actively put our privilege on the line and diminish the deep divides. For South Asians, we need to take a hard look in the mirror and unpack our baggage. During the past few months with the killing of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Tony McDade, and countless others and people saying, “I’m so shocked” shows me how much work we still have to do.
Even with that there are South Asians for Black Lives having conversations and kids who created a facilitation guide about how to have conversations about these issues with our parents to discuss issues like looting and what it means. There is a process that begins with developing an awareness, then educating ourselves, followed by an interrogation of how we have been complicit, and then taking action. The outcome has to be action to help create change. These steps are not an end goal, but rather part of an ongoing educational process.
I can recommend two videos that are very thought-provoking on this: one by a black person in the UK who did a video in JUNE 2020 which was a call out to South Asians and another video by a South Asian that talks about ways South Asians have been complicit in upholding white supremacy.
Tell me about your self-care practice?
I do Olympic weightlifting and cross fit. Olympic weightlifting requires a little more technique than power lifting. I started working out when I was 12 or 13 with my mom at my local mosque and then we went to an all-women’s gym and I worked my way up to the 60 lb. bar and I saw the staff starting to caution me, instead of encourage me.
I then moved on to cross-fit at the age of 15 or 16 and that was the first time I got to lift heavyweights. In high school I had a teacher who encouraged me to lift heavier and I really liked that. In cross fit, you do a lot of cardio, gymnastics, and weights so you never get bored and that’s what I really like about it.
They help me center and take a break from everything.
I also teach self-defense through Malikah. The movements are derived from martial arts but they are not a particular style/discipline. They are focused on how to get out of common situations related to gender-based violence (e.g., someone grabbing your hijab, someone having their arm around your neck). The training is trauma-informed and survivor-centered, meaning that we are explicit about participants not having to do anything they don’t want to do and for them to give consent to everything they participate in. We are aware of and sensitive to the fact that participants may have experienced gender-based violence and understand the impact that can have.
In addition to defending against physical violence we also teach verbal de-escalation: How to be specific when you are asking for help, engaging bystanders to intervene, identifying what is happening to you, repeating your request (aka “broken record technique”). When we begin the workshop, our framework and opening is to remind women that this is just one tool for protection, emphasizing that the onus for stopping gender-based violence should not be placed on victims/survivors.
What’s your favorite kind of work to do?
There are a lot of different topics I have a background in. As a Muslim South Asian person, I have lived experience and have done research on:
- Islamophobia and gender-based violence
- Bystander Intervention to interrupt islamophobia
- Algorithmic violence and how artificial intelligence (AI) and algorithms target people of color.
I feel that not enough people know about these issues and understand these issues, so I do a lot of trainings and workshops on these topics.
Something I do for fun on the side is graphic design. All the graphics on my South Asians for Black Lives website are ones I’ve done. It makes everything look clean and nice. It’s a side and fun thing I do.
One of the best ways to learn more about my work is to visit my website.
To hear more from Haleema, join her on Instagram Live in conversation with Paula Farmer (@paulawritesreviews) of SILENT WATER PRODUCTIONS WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 2, 2020 at 3 pm (Pacific).
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