Communication Across Divides

For many years I offered mediation services to nonprofit organizations who needed someone to hold space for employees in intractable interpersonal disputes. My journey with mediation began by studying conflict resolution with Gary Friedman, a practicing Buddhist and founder of The Center for Understanding in Conflict, whose foundational teaching was that in order to be present with people in conflict you first have to be present with yourself. The Center’s West Coast trainings were intentionally held at San Francisco Zen Center’s Green Gulch Farm, a Soto Zen practice center, to immerse students in an environment that supported contemplation and silence.

I took a break from mediation for several years, but after the 2020 election, I realized I was surrounded primarily by people who think like me. While this was intentional, I decided I wanted to develop a deeper understanding of viewpoints I’d shielded myself from. Toward that end, in 2021, I designed and launched a yearlong fellowship across the political divide. The group was comprised of folks who self-described as progressives and as conservatives. That group met monthly over the course of a year and, at the end of our scheduled sessions, desired to stay in community. To date, a majority of us continue to meet twice a year.

What I’ve come to understand is that often people don’t want to demonstrate understanding of a differing viewpoint because they fear that their understanding will be seen as agreement. I’ve also come to understand that not everyone has interest or appetite for engaging with differing viewpoints. And I see that while there is much talk about the political divide across the United States, I’ve found as much dissention within the various communities I’m a part of between people who are “on the same side” or who share a similar identity.

My interest in being in spaces with folks who desire to expand their skill in understanding views that differ from their own, has led me to Resetting the Table, an organization devoted to courageous communication across divides. Since 2022, I’ve worked as a coach with Resetting the Table and have received training on how to lead their “Speaking Across Conflict Workshop.”

If you are interested in a training, please contact me to learn more.